Over the past 10 years I've been playing in a…
Everyone else but me
There’s not denying I exhibit the tendencies, attributes and traits of the infamous gen-y. But if there’s one critical sticking point I’ve noticed in myself, and see mirrored in many of those I’ve worked in over the past years, is that we have too many expectations of those around us and perhaps not enough of ourselves.
We naturally have a expectation to demand why everyone else around us is acting in such an unfavourable manner, without ever looking at ourselves and are relationship with the situation.
It might be in the workplace – but there’s something I always try and remind myself of: in a workplace, we all want the same thing – to be happy, productive and work with great people. No body actually wants to be a controlling douche bag, they just look at things are different, way and as a result, have a very different way of communicating it.
Hence, a person’s attitude will out doubtlessly affect their communication, which in experience, ultimately can affect the outcome.
When something isn’t going your way, or if everyone else but you seems to misunderstand: look at your attitude, then theirs, and work out the best way to communicate. This can also be a great way to know exactly what to address from a management point of view. But be careful not to make too many assumptions or stereotypes (must read: just because I’m nice, don’t assume I’m dumb).
There’s the old NLP analogy and looks out our motivations (linked to desired outcome) and the way our attitude and perceptions affect the way it is communicated -
A man being followed by a hungry tiger, turned in desperation to face it, and cried: ‘Why don’t you leave me alone?’ The tiger answered: ‘Why don’t you
stop being so appetising?’
In any communication between two people, or in this case, between man and beast, there’s always more than one perspective. Sometimes we just can’t bgrasp that because we can’t see the way forward.
With interpersonal relationships the way we communicate (verbally, physically etc) is our expression of attitude, rather than desired outcome. Time and time again “misunderstanding” are a result of “miscommunication” when we all want the same thing.
Stop being angry, start being open and things will begin to resolve for the better.