ManWeek is an initiative by ReachOut – a valuable step forward encouraging young men to share their thoughts about being a guy.

Without a doubt this is something I’d never thought I’d share across a blog. 20 something years ago I was adopted from an orphanage in Bogota, Colombia. It’s something I live with. Something I think about every day. It’s everything and nothing to me. It’s taken me, and is still taking me, most of my life so far, to accept that it is just something a part of me, but that there is so much more.

Being a guy I’ve always felt the need to be hard. To be ruthless with feeling. To be self assured. The same feelings that I felt gave me strength, left me feeling totally isolated. I learned to live a different life. I still don’t let anyone too close too quickly.

The photo above is me sitting in La Ciudad Perdida (The Lost City) after trekking for 3 days into the Colombian jungle

I spoke to Marky P about this. Massive inspiration across so many different levels – this post really belongs to his blog.

Life before knowing I was adopted

I’ve known since birth. My brother is blonde, white with green eyes – so I was reminded from when I was young. It was a really hard thing to explain to people when you’re 5 years old why you and your brothers are different ‘colours’. I remember lying about it once. At 5 years old, I’d never felt so guilty before. I’ve never lied about it again.

Experience: The judgment of others, and the judgement of myself.

How I found out I was adopted

Parents always discussed it with me. “Where do babies come from” was a very different conversation with me. I think I would have only been 18 months (or whenever babies start to talk) that they started showing me where I was from. You might have had a “Where do babies come from book” – you know those books for babies? – I had one called “Why was I adopted” which was also for infants.

Experience: That I experienced birth like none other I knew (at that time).

How I felt

Confused. My whole outlook was always up and down. It’s hard to tell if I was naturally emotional or if that this made me emotional because I went through so many different feelings. I once went to a doctor and was asked to fill out medical history (of family) to which I wrote ‘N/A’ and the doctor looked at me coldly and said “What? Is your whole family dead?” I said “They could be, I really have no idea.”

It becomes a search for ‘truth’ – whatever that is, to answer questions of why.

Experience: Blame. It’s weird, there’s no real blame anywhere. Yet I felt like I needed to put some on someone.

Highschool

Highschool – where you think you know who you are, by trying to be everyone else. Having felt alone for so long – you look to feel a part of something all over again. You tell yourself you don’t give a shit; that you’re a guy and that none of this matters to guys. That I should get back to chasing girls.

After the first 4 years of highschool, running around with different crowds, I gave in. I let go of caring about the judgement views of others and starting doing my own thing. I still continued to perform with different bands; kept playing soccer; continued enjoying the company of my closest friends. I just wanted to be whatever I wanted. And that was fine. I started to feel happy.

People think I’m gay; straight; happy; sad; too old; too young; too busy; lazy blah bah. But I just wanted to be me. And that’s what happened. And again, I learned acceptance.

Experience: Life is what you want it to be. You have that control and will to bend, twist and craft whatever you want.

Thinking about finding my biological family

Talk to any adopted child and they’ll have a different perspective. In fact, I think while you’re growing up it changes over time. Sometimes you want to more than anything; sometimes the thought tears you apart; and at other times it seems as a nice to know.

Experience: Acceptance. That everything happens. And it will happen. We are everything that we want to be.

Doing it

Hard. I procrastinated for so long. It ended up being over the internet, followed by a letter, to which I received an email reply (after leaving an email address). 12 months later I went over with 5 mates who would share one of the pinnacle moments of my life with me. I wrote every day, and still have not published any of this, nor read it again.

Meeting my mother, my 3 sisters, and my half brother and half sister, two nieces and nephew was incredible, I’m still never sure how to explain the feeling. I now know every circumstance I was adopted under.

Experience: Reborn. My life started again.

The journey: is a search for truth, and answers

It felt like it feels to SCUBA diving at night with sharks. Honestly. You jump into the water, swallow all your pride, and decide that it’s worth everything to be here, if I don’t make it out alive, at least I did something that might mean something one day.

Then you jump.

Thoughts now

Best thing I’ve ever done. That’s all you need to know.

It’s a fuel. A fuel for self-destruction, a fuel for strength, a fuel for emotion, a fuel for apathy. It is measure of value, fortune and gratitude.

Some thoughts for adopted men

1. You are not alone
2. Your parents are the ones who raised you, your family is who you make it
3. It’s OK to care about your parents, it’s OK to give a fuck
4. The decision is yours. You never have to find out, you’re not succeeding or failing at anything you don’t set out to do

What I’ve learned

1. I have a strong connection with my family
2. I have a strong connection with children
3. Adopted children share an experience which bonds them, no story is the same
4. That I am incredibly fortunate to be where I am, and know the people I know
5. I haved lived in too much fear, guilt and anger

What I want to be

1. A father. A good father.
2. To support and be there for any other adoptee (working on something at the moment)

ManWeek

• Why some men are so lost – Man Week by Mark Pollard
• Becoming a man: dealing with personal problems by Julian Cole
• Being a dad by Matt Moore
• Balls and bravado by Gavin Heaton
• Reachout’s Man Week blog

This week marked the launch of PhotosOfOldPeople.com – a very unique and moving site created by friend, Karla Courtney. Creative, smart and funny – I was eager to catch up with her about her brand new site.

I tend to focus on people when I take photos anyways so I do have a decent back catalogue. It was on a recent trip to Buenos Aires that my husband and I decided to make a bit of a project of it.

We generally get really good reactions; a lot of people seem surprised that we would want to photograph them and really happy to chat. I never just take photos and run away; I always ask, have a chat, tell them a bit about what I am doing (though I don’t often say “hey, you’re old, I am taking photos for photosofoldpeople.com”) find out a bit about them, and if we are travelling, get some advice about their favourite spots and check them out.

Memorable moments: At a barber’s shop the owner directed an entire photo shoot of himself which was pretty funny

Ended up having lunch with one man; he didn’t speak English and my Spanish is rubbish but somehow found out that his wife had died of diabetes and got some advice on the best suburbs in Buenos Aires to visit and what the area was like 50 years ago

Met this one lovely couple that walked us to one of their favourite restaurants. We had one of our most memorable, and delicious, meals in Buenos Aires there (their photo is coming up soon).

I just think they look cool and are cool. You have to admire people who have lived decades longer than you and are still out there kickin’ it.

Right now me, with a few cameo appearances by my husband Scott Drummond and some coming up from our buddy Andy Miller. Am happy to take submissions :o)

More photos of old people, becoming old myself. I am also starting to knit (yes knit) some of the faces for a ‘knitted portraits’ project. Will give you some updates when those are done.

What I learned this month

Expectations should not be born from ignorance. Education is fundamental. Communication is key.

I was working on my next post around the future of social media. It’s a lengthy post that I’ve been trying to articulate for a while. And then I got bored. So I promise I’ll do something insightful soon. But here’s something completely different.

What’s your nerdgasm? Comment below.

My uncle is lucky enough to live across the road from one of his best mates, Les. Les is one of those men with a wealth of life experience in just about everything. Everything except the internet. But that’s OK – he’s a bit older now, and has that ability to demonstrate what’s really important in life. Even if it is popping over the road to ask my uncle for the latest English Premiere League results.

It was a Friday morning, and stopping by for his morning coffee. Les asked “You’ll have to show me how you always find the score so quickly!”

My uncle smiled, popped his reading glasses on and replied “Oh it’s really simple, my daughter has shown me how to use Google. It’s just like asking a question.” Then he demonstrated.

The morning coffee was done, and Les continued about his day. The next evening, Les and his wife were coming by for dinner, and Les called out to my uncle as to what he was doing.

“Oh I’m just checking last night’s results on Google.”

“What?!” Les replied “Mr. Google works on Saturdays?!”

Australia’s Best Marketing Blogs

Was really pleased to find out I was number 27 in B&T, and number 26 over at camp JC.

It must be frightening reading for more junior members of agency teams who are minded to try and make social media recommendations and, more importantly, in need of confidence to push them through to fruition. After all, evolving something from an idea in a meeting room to a living thing that delivers results, is something that takes huge amounts of self belief. A backdrop of reactionary onlookers may not inspire such qualities in everyone. But that’s one of the ironies of some social media commentary at present – being a little anti-social is always a good conversation starter.

Brad Howarth’s narrative to the carefully constructed Top 50 Marketing Blogs in Australia list articulates many of the key points with detail. But this paragraph was my favourite. The circus; the bullshit; the land-grab; and ego; all need to FOAD.


Just serve the people.

An interview with Gavin Heaton

Gavin, who presented on the who will be presenting at Creative Sydney next week in Sydney, Australia has been kind enough to answer a few questions about his new book: The Dial Up Guide to Blogging.  By the way, I will wait in the pouring rain to get Social Judgement. Sounds incredible.

Who’s this book for?

The book is really aimed at individuals who have heard about blogging and wanted to give it a go. But where do you start? How do you choose a blog service? What about the technology? What should I write? All these are common questions and I cover the basics in an easily accessible way. Of course, this is also a great primer for the small business owner thinking about starting their own blog – and here’s a hint – don’t spend thousands!

What made you decide to write it?

I moved house about 18 months ago and could only get dialup access to the Internet. This transformed my thinking around blogging. I had to learn new tools and habits. I had to be more efficient and effective (and more patient). I also realised that people with dialup access are missing out on what is perhaps the greatest transformation of our time. I started writing the book as a way of thinking through the things I was learning. And then, recently, a few friends asked me to help them setup a website – so rather than doing it for them, I spent some time finishing off the book – and then gave them a copy. Saved me a bunch of time and helped them learn about the internet and become more committed and engaged with their own site.

Who is blogging for? Isn’t everything about Twitter now?

Blogging is still a fantastic way of publishing content. And while Twitter is a darling, it is really only an amplifier. After all, you might share ideas, thoughts etc on Twitter – but in essence, you are sharing links to websites. And blogging remains one of the easiest and most effective ways of building, maintaining and optimising a website.

Best lesson you’ve learn while blogging?

Online drives offline. It used to be the other way around. We used to use non-digital media to drive online interaction. But now, with 75% of Australian adults now using some form of social networking online, this has been reversed. And this interconnectedness is driving offline interactions. We move pretty quickly now from online interaction to offline experience. Brands that are able to tap into this phenomenon will find great value and opportunity.

Any other books in the pipeline you can tell us about?
I have a couple of chapters written about Social Judgement and the how this relates to branding and marketing. It has been a very popular section on my blog and I find it a useful way of building deep digital and engagement strategies from a customer perspective (rather than strategy as a competitive advantage). I keep thinking this would be a great book – but need to get through some more before pitching to publishers. I am also beginning to think about the next installment of Age of Conversation – which will need to take a new direction this year.

Heard enough? Then get a copy. Now.  Or buy one for a friend.   What you’ll find inside:

The book takes you through a series of steps that will make your life as a dialup blogger much easier:

• Chapter 1 — Knowing Your Objectives: Blogging is much harder work than it first appears. By asking yourself some serious questions you will be able to frame your blog in a way that is valuable to you as well as to your readers.
• Chapter 2 — Welcome to Your Domain: Looks at some of the basic elements of web domains — what you need to think about and how you go about getting a “domain” of your own.
• Chapter 3 — Setting Up Your Blog/Website: Helps you set up your website — either for free or for fee.
• Chapter 4 — Setting Up Your Social Web Identity: Looks at a variety of ways to create your social web identity, suggesting sites and tools that will make your dialup life easier
• Chapter 5 — Writing Your First Posts: Is about writing your first posts, establishing a publishing rhythm and finding “your voice”.
• Chapter 6 — Making Blogging Easier: Explains where you can find ideas for your ideas — that is, how you can find topics to write about, and some of the practicalities of blogging.
• Chapter 7 — Out and About in the Blogosphere: This last chapter looks at contributing to ongoing conversations and determining where best to direct your reading efforts.

From Nick Hodge: Social Media – All Hail The Circus

Nick and I were 2 of 6 presenting at CeBIT 2009 – his analogy, delivery and passion were only were unrivaled.   Was hoping he’d post his thoughts up, and he has. Read the full post, but here’s the conclusion:

“Social networking is more than the latest crazes of Twitter and Facebook. In fact, it predates blogs. And the WWW, even if you could hand-code HTML. Even before the internet escaped from the university cage and it’s trainers, there have existed “social medias”. Email, Bulletin board systems, Talk-back radio. Small newspapers and magazines; telegraph wirings and Morse code; pamphlet and book publishing. All add to the social discourse. In fact, since the democratisation of communication that began with the printing press: where thoughts in the form of words could be etched and produced enmasse; a social discourse has existed.

What is different is the connectivity we all enjoy. We all are two simple words that encompasses the whole world. At once in one large, multi-cultural circus. No one mono-culture can exist. Generalizations break down as individuals assert their individual characteristics, subverting the propensity for traditional hierarchies to classify, box and bucket.

The impact of this individual yet share instant experience is being being felt now across businesses and governments. Unrelenting forces for change are singing strident tunes from the opera, whilst the circus clowns laugh in mock humour at the futility on the grave of the generously-proportioned female vocalist.”

- Nick Hodge

An interview with Ross Zietz, Threadless

Today I was given the opportunity to interview the Threadless Art Director, Ross Zeitz – this coincides with their symposium tonight in Sydney, Australia.  Thanks for the opportunity, Ross!

What’s been the greatest, or the most rewarding aspect so far?

Looking forward going to my job every morning is pretty cool. When I was studying Graphic Design in college I never thought I would/could end up being an art director for a successful t-shirt company. It’s pretty neat.

Why do you think Threadless has such a cult following?

I think there are a couple factors to this. The first one is that we sell a cool product. T-shirts are cool. Unique interesting t-shirts designed by people all over the world is even cooler. Anther factor would be the whole community aspect of our site. We have about a million registered users now on threadless. They are customers, designers, and dedicated bloggers and we know we wouldn’t be where we are now with out all of them.

Is it the community or the technology that really drives Threadless?

They both do in a sense but I think the community does so more. We just do our best to stay on top of the technology aspect.

Favourite design so far?

Oh man… So many just popped into my head. The one I seem to wear the most is this one:

Might be because I am partial to green though.

What do you think Threadless (and maybe the internet?) will look like in 12 months?

Threadless will probably look pretty similar. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. Our navigation and search system might be a little more concise though to make it easier to find stuff on the site.

Social media is a fantastic way to communicate value, expertise and or passion to numerous amounts of people. It is also a great to way to keep relevant people up to date with what you’re doing with your day, week or next client.  But what about the more meaningful stuff? What about the awesome fun stuff you’re doing with close friends? I notice a lot of people like inform their weak ties about the activities they’re doing with their BFFs.

This can lead to BFFs thinking you don’t really enjoy their company quite as much, and your weak ties thinking your closer than you are (surprise dates!).  Which can be a problem because suddenly who we consider ‘friends’ is a very different from what we use to.  Does it take anymore or any less to be my BFF?

In my discussion for the Future of Conferences I discussed the difference between ‘actually being there’ and ‘reading the Twitter streams’ – this is important not only for conferences but for activities with friends too.  After all, no body wants to read about being in the mosh pit at Slipknot over actually being there!  So if we’re truly friends, should I need to read your Twitter stream to find out you had a great time with me over the weekend?Are these interactions going to strengthen our ties having never met? Or are they going to rip existing ties apart?

I’m still unsure – but one thing that is certain is that this is changing the way we interact, consider and experience social situations and people.

friday design challenge #2: THE CREATIVE PROCESS, ILLUSTRATED.

From likeomg:

rules:

1. you can spend fifteen minutes on this only.
2. it must start with “problem” and end in “solution”, or show why you are unable to come up with one
3. it can be in any format (hand-drawn, digital collage, video, etc.).
4. it must be posted on twitter (TwitPic’d or blogged on yours) with the hashtag: #fridaydesignchallenge
5. entries will be accepted as long as it is submitted on Friday, May 15th, wherever you live

Winner this week receives a glorious piece of apparel from The Tweet Shirt.

Top spot from last’s week’s VENN IS MY ZEN goes to Damien for his lovely interpretation of Nerdvana.

(picture above: my creative process, version 2.0)

Chuffed.  Along side was:

1. Kyle Lacy – http://KyleLacy.com
2. Shama Hyder – http://Shama.tv
3. Eric Friedman – http://marketing.fm
4. Stuart Foster – http://thelostjacket.com
5. Ryan Stephens – http://RyanStephensMarketing.com/blog
6. Greg Rollett – http://GregRollett.blogspot.com
7. Tiffany Monhollon – http://tiffanymonhollon.com/blog
8. Jeff Taylor – http://MillennialMarketer.com
9. Karlyn Morissette – http://KarlynMorissette.com
10. Jye Smith – http://jyesmith.com

AIMIA Connect 2009: Exploring Australia’s Digital Brilliance (Sydney, Now on June 2)

My successors – EVENTS TEAM ASSEMBLE!!!11 – at AIMIA National are holding a full day conferences this June. What is really exciting about this event is that you’ll actually get to hear the case studies and results from the clever people who put them together.

No more talk, this is all the action.  Hope to see you there (but remember to register!), as it’s a must for anyone wanting to see the benchmark that Australian digital media has earned – with an amazing list of speakers.

AIMIA Events is delighted to bring together Australia’s very best in Digital Media for a one day conference at Rydges World Square on 2 June 2009. Don’t miss this exclusive opportunity to hear prominent 15th AIMIA award winners share their insights and lessons learned throughout the process of producing an award winning digital media project. The specific industry sector will be covered by a case study and will then be discussed by a selection of the best industry speakers, as voted by the attendees at our 2008 AIMIA National forums.

AIMIA Connect 2009 promises to deliver invaluable insights into how an award winning digital media project is created and will offer expert advice from Australia’s very best in Digital Media. Make the most out of this excellent opportunity to hear about industry best practise and to network and exchange thoughts and ideas with your industry peers and colleagues on the future trends in Digital Media.

We hope you can join us at this key industry conference in May.